Lost Again in a Familiar Place

I was lost again
in a familiar place
where those who said they loved me
were otherwise occupied
and aloof

I was lost again
in a familiar place
where instead of kindness and protection
I was devalued
and ignored

I was lost again
in a familiar place
where I was given burdens
and my arms reached out
for more

then I found myself
in this familiar place

noticing my patterns
noticing my tendencies
noticing what I tolerate
and wondering if I should

so I navigated my way
from the familiar place
realizing that even though
comfortable and known
it was slowly
and persistently
extinguishing
my light

now here I am
in an unfamiliar place

unfettered
alive

and learning

~Ann Betz, 2022, Santa Fe