In organizations, toxic people can do tremendous damage and be very difficult to get rid of, so it’s far better not to hire them in the first place. I asked a couple of my friends* with experience in hiring what their best advice would be to avoid this mistake. It may not be news to many of you, but just in case, here are seven tips:
ONE — Trust your intuition. This was everyone’s number one piece of advice. No matter how good they look on paper, check in to your “spidey sense” and have others do so as well. Do NOT go against your intuition. Every time I have asked managers about hires they have regretted, they have said something like this: “They looked good on paper, but there was something I couldn’t put my finger on that wasn’t right. I couldn’t prove it, so I hired them — and lived to regret it.” Check with others about their own gut feel about the candidate, but also don’t let them discount or try to argue you out of your intuitive sense. If it feels wrong, use this “hit” to push you even harder to dig deep (see Tip Two).
TWO — Validate everything. Of course you already know to check references, education and previous employment, but do your due diligence with extra care if you have any intuition at all that something may not be quite right. The brain’s tendency for confirmation bias can blind even a tough hiring manager to red flags if the person presents with enough “star power” — we simply want to believe that they are the awesome person they are telling us they are. However, see Tip Three.
THREE — Too good to be true is all too often just that. Be on alert for the overly charming and “too good to be true” candidates. That is, the ones who are too smooth, too right a fit, whose background is too amazing, and who are basically too perfect in every way. Maybe you found a unicorn, or maybe they are already showing you that what they are good at is tailoring the truth — and their own background — to make it seem they are the perfect fit.
Many narcissists are also quite talented in impression management, and can easily charm people at will. This charm doesn’t last once their mask slips, but it can be very convincing in the beginning. See Tip Four for one way to check as to whether they are doing a classic “charm offensive” or are in fact genuinely just incredibly nice to everyone.
FOUR — Test them. If you suspect narcissism but are still interested in the candidate, set up a simple test or two. See how they treat those who they perceive as having no power in the organization. Have someone they might see as “low status” inconvenience them in some way. For example, have the receptionist ask them to complete some paperwork, or wait while she is on another call. How does this person respond? And even if you don’t set up an actual test, at a minimum ask for input from anyone they interact with who is not on the official hiring team and thus might be seen as unimportant to the candidate.
FIVE — Check the I / We ratio. Does this person share credit when they tell you about their accomplishments? Is it “I, I, I” and never a “we?” When you ask about mistakes or failures, do they throw others under the bus in any way or do they acknowledge their own responsibility with authenticity and humility? This can be subtle so it’s a place to listen with care. Additionally, assessing the ratio of confidence to humility is helpful as well. Do these qualities seem balanced and healthy in the candidate (great leaders display both) or does the candidate tend to over-calibrate, especially in the confidence direction? This can be a red flag of narcissism.
SIX — Create some stress. Push them into some discomfort, and not just about their knowledge or ability to accomplish tasks, but their impact on others and level of emotional intelligence. You both want to gather information as well as see if they can self-regulate when stressed. While we’re not advocating insulting candidates, you do want to see how they respond to things that might be uncomfortable, unexpected, and something they have not rehearsed. Healthy people may get flustered, but will typically be able to manage their emotions without defensiveness. Not having a great answer because they weren’t expecting the question is far better than any sign of annoyance that you asked. Even if the irritation is subtle, it’s still a big old red flag.
And lastly, from my partner Jon, who used to do a ton of hiring in higher education:
SEVEN — The no bozo rule. When there is doubt, just say no.
*Thank you to Jon Davis and Ursula Pottinga for their thoughts!
—————————-
In the process of healing and need some support? Join our next group coaching program (starts January 2023) or Contact Ann for one-to-one coaching.
—————————-
Want to learn how to work with relational trauma as a coach? Join our next Certification Program for Neuroscience, Coaching and Relational Trauma starting January 2023.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ann Betz is the co-founder of BEabove Leadership and an expert on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, trauma and human transformation. She speaks, trains and coaches internationally, and writes about neuroscience and coaching as well as relational trauma. Ann is also a published poet who loves cats, rain in the desert, healthy relationships and non-toxic workplaces.
But Now I Know Your Name 